Restorative Justice Circles leave people feeling refreshed, hopeful and connected. I know this from hearing countless reflections, and my own experiences. I asked a Circle (that meets monthly) if there was anything more needed from the Circle. The round began with a firm affirmation about how much Circle already gives, the joke: other than handing out cash at the door, it couldn’t be any better.
- It is not about the keeper, it is about the process.
- It is about the values placed in the center, reminding all of us to stay with things like trust, love, understanding, honesty, caring.
- it is not about Kris, it is about all of us.
- it is about living in good relationships to others, using the values of humankind.
I seem to have the Circle thing working out. I want to be more like I am in Circle . . . ALLLL the time!
- I listen (and without judgement)
- I share from a place of good and heart centered
- I don’t interrupt
- I place WE ahead of ME
- I bring and act on the values in the center
- I lead with gentleness (or try anyway)
- well . . . I am at a restructuring place. I don’t always do as I would like.
At this very moment, I am struggling a bit. A friend and I haven’t had a “not speaking” phase in 14 years. That hurts, and yet I am sitting with it, unsure what to do. We are here because I said something unnecessary and rude. So now, my person I would tell all my stuff to, isn’t in my life.
Stress at the office got to a “boiling point”. We fixed it, talked and hugged. I left with feedback that I am a perfectionist. I am involved in all aspects of SCVRJP. Sometimes (others might say never) I don’t let people do it any other way, than mine. I am a task assigner who can only explain some of what is in my head, or my ADD, I move on before explaining the rest. Yet, I expect those doing tasks for me, to know the entire picture. I assign multiple tasks in the middle of a person working. I change speeds, I take on more than I can or should and start to delegate where people never had a voice. As you can tell by the paragraph here, I am not in a place of celebrating and honoring my strengths or accomplishments (right now).
It is a fact of life, but I have to say: Stress is a bitch. I don’t do well with it. I don’t have time for it. I ignore it. I fight it. I try to punch it in the face and run away. I lie about having it, “those hives must have been something I ate” (they lasted 6 months)! I’m human, and we all have those certain neurosis that come with being human. Who hasn’t had the discomfort of stress, coworker conflict, fights with a friend, concern about your job? I however, experience life deeply and passionately, my ebb and flow is more like drought and tsunami. I cried on the way to work, I cleared the day and came home to take care of myself. I called a different friend for support. I cried again disappointed I am a failure at taking care of myself and having a life outside of work.
To take on life, like I am in Circle, I needed a place to tell the truth. This is the blog post of me telling the truth about how I am, right now at this moment. So friends, who are going to call and ask me, you know I will be in a better place, I just told the whole world how this was going!
So now I can laugh at myself, come full circle on this, return to my self-help books about being a perfectionist. Appreciate people who explain our differences so we can move forward productively. And, most importantly thank my lucky stars I was exposed to the process of Circle, which brings me back to the person I most hope to be.
And THANK YOU blog readers, for being part of this journey!