People will take ‘shots’ at you and it’s about them.

I sent an email asking  for my handmixer back. 

I got a scathing response.  I’m choosing emotional maturity and understanding that people can have different views, perspectives, feelings and experiences of the same situation.  I’ve got some ‘energy’ about it and am going to blog on it.  I wrote two blogs yesterday and didn’t post either one, this ‘stuff ‘ is in the way.  Let me briefly explain . . .

Relationships are not easy.  Especially those interpersonal most intimate ones.  Will Smith told Barbara Walters “anyone that’s married knows, marriage is the toughest job”  (something very close to that).  The phrase used in Marley and Me “Mend it, Don’t End it”, was searched and brought people to myblog.  I wonder what people were looking for – how to mend it, when to end it?  I may not appear much of an authority on the interpersonal relationship topic.  Here’s my relevant statistic, married for 6 months, 13 years ago.  But is that the only measure?

Let’s talk about the intersection between personal and professional.  I follow Penelope Trunk at Brazen Careerist, she writes about the intersection between work and life.  I’ve shared personal experiences here, because I see the intersection between my personal and professional life.  Here’s another example from that intersection.

In the ‘scathing’ email – I got ripped on for not having relationship skills, informed that just because I blog on them doesn’t mean I have them.  I was also informed that as much as I do restorative justice/relationships, these things were only evident in conversation (in this relationship).  Now as much as I politely “beg to differ”.  I’m not going there. 

Where I am going is here . . . people will take shots at you.  They will insult you.  They will want to be right, more than they will want to mend it.  Some people will talk to a door that has already been closed.  Here are your options, professionally and personally.  Consider what has been placed before you.  Look at it.  Find a grain of truth, I dog-poop1believe a grain of truth is in everything and everywhere.  Pick up what is helpful to you, and leave the rest. 


From the book Restorative Justice Transforming Society.

The goal of healing is to achieve relationships entirely structured on values like respect, trust, sharing, caring, courage, humility and love.  It is understood that no one ever achieves that perfection; instead we are all on a journey towards that mythical state.

So maybe not being married, makes me less of an authority on this.  Maybe.  If that is the only statistic to be considered.  I think having to be in a relationship with only myself, well that’s given me a particular authority as well.  Every relationship I’ve had has taught me a great deal. 

I’ve handed back a 3.6 carat ring. 

Visited California to hang with the former NFL superstar (11 pro bowls).

I’ve felt deeply, profoundly soulfully connected to a guy that I later found out was cheating on me. 

I’ve given all my furniture away and broke up the next week.

My heart has been broke because I loved his kids so much. 

All of these are examples from different relationships.  All of these are along the journey to respect, trust, sharing, caring, courage, humility and love.

We’re all going to be all right.  We are all on the same exact journey . . . to healthy relationships.

-Peace – Kris