Most importantly I am armed with enthusiasm, this will be the 3rd, maybe 4th trip to this district.  My daughter even recorded a video greeting!  She traveled with me, and was never afraid to offer her perspective or participate in Circle.  I’m excited because I know I have grown and developed as a practitioner and trainer.  I really like this aspect of expressing and using my passion for Restorative Justice and School-based Restorative Justice.  If you are looking for a speaker, trainer or conference presenter, please contact the Restorative Jusitce Center in River Falls!  You can email me directly at scvrjp@gmail.com or call 715-425-1100.

To highlight the great work with students, and the feedback about using Circles, here is a link to a post written in 2008.  When students were asked what makes their school special, they replied “Circles”!

Students Say Circles are Important!

Restorative Justice

Stakeholder Meeting

Tuesday – February 14, 2012

8-10 am

St. Croix County Government Center

Lower Level Community Room

Sponsored by:  St. Croix Valley Restorative Justice Program

Please join us to discuss the work and future of Restorative Justice.

If you work in public safety, with offenders, victims or community programs we would like to hear from you.  We are inviting all parties involved in the adult & juvenile justice and community health initiatives to this meeting.

• Provide input regarding your agency/program needs
• Receive up to date information on existing programs
• Contribute ideas for improving Restorative Justice offerings
• Meet and network with other justice professionals
• Refreshments 8am – Panel presentation 8:30, Discussion 9:00 Resource Sharing 9:30

Inviting: circuit & municipal court staff, law enforcement, social workers, probation, parole, human services, mental health, faith-based, victim assistance, school, public health, recovery community members and professionals.

For more information:

SCVRJP (715)-425-1100     scvrjp@gmail.com     www.scvrjp.org

The hot new social media trend is pinterest.  Pinterest is an online pinboard.   Whoever heard of that?  Basically, a pinboard is a place to post pictures that are links to sites, and you can look at what has been pinned, someone elses board of pinned items.  Make sure you have time when you go there, it is addicting.

My first visit to pinterest, I, of course, search the term Restorative Justice.  Results, about restorative yoga, restorative dentistry and lots of photos with comments on how the photo “doesn’t do it justice”.  After reading again and again, “doesn’t do it justice” or “does not do justice”, I put my meaning on the word justice, and began to think about criminal justice, restorative justice and why and how the word was being used in all these photo comments.

I came to this.  In the context of beauty, when a photo “does not do it justice”, it means something about it wasn’t captured, that in real life, there was something much more.  I think it has to do with capturing a spiritual essence, that a photo can not do and real life can.  I think, Restorative Jusitce brings different “justice”.  The kind of justice that includes a spiritual essence, that formal process can not do.  Recently hearing “there are as many definitions of justice as their are victims”.  I am in tune to the individuality of justice and the need to be individually aware of each persons experience and need for justice.

Crime is ugly, there is no way to say that it isn’t.  People are hurt, people are punished, resources and capacity are diminished in the presence of crime.  Humans are not acting on their own greater good when they commit crimes.  Generally here, it was a crime when Rosa Parks didn’t get out of her seat, but that’s another blog post.

Use of the phrase, “doesn’t do it justice” on pinterest, really had me thinking about harvesting the justice (beauty and spiritual essence) in Restorative Justice.  It was actually best said by a teen in Circle.  She looked at the speaker, who had shared the pain of surviving his daughters death, caused by an intoxicated driver, and she told him she was sorry for his loss.  She said it was terrible that it happened and she wished it hadn’t.  She said it was cool that he was telling the story like this.  I saw the expression on the storytellers face.  It appeared he was acknowledged and comforted.  I felt the beauty in that moment of connection between Circle members.  I saw an element of Restorative Justice, as the tragic and fatal car crash created a lesson and touched lives.  This storyteller was harvesting the justice (the beauty and spiritual essence) of what happened.  So much so, that a teen referred to as cool.  You do realize most teens don’t recognize people that are old enough to be their parents as cool?  And that word “cool”, in that moment, it really did do justice.

SCVRJP has board openings!  We are looking for skilled and passionate candidates to help lead SCVRJP.

Please consider completing a board application, deadline February 1, 2012.  Candidate application

SCVRJP is also hosting a Stakeholder Meeting on February 14, 2012.  Stakeholder meeting announcement

Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh

outlines the three steps to peace as:

• First, listen to the sufferings of all sides;

• Second, relate the sufferings of all sides to one another; and

• Third, bring all sides together so that they may hear one another.

I did what we as humans do, I thought about myself.  I’m not gonna lie, the “blame the victim, for not leaving” judgement entered my mind.  It entered because I spent one night in a shelter about 16 years ago.  That was all it took, one instance of being shoved around.  My situation was complicated, I wanted out of the marriage.  I got the heck out and never looked back.  Well I did look back, as I drove away from our home one last time, Bon Jovi was on the radio “you give love a bad name”.  I don’t know why I was able to break away.  I was fortunate with support from my family.

Today, 16 years later I am a Restorative Justice practitioner, and I see a space for Restorative Justice in domestic violence.  It was with my Restorative Justice lenses and my life experience I viewed the blog post today.

The “post” has nearly 300 comments on it.  Reading it was almost like hearing the community voice and response.  You certainly get the victims side by reading the post.  One person commented a suggestion that Penelope quit rewinding her victim tape.  Someone else called the police and reported it.  Several people weighed in on the photo.

The old adage, hurt people, hurt people.  The wounds of our past can haunt us.  Trauma needs to be addressed.  When done carefully, and with much preparation Restorative Justice can help people heal.  I am not advocating for RJ with an actively abusive person.  There are models for child protection and surrogate dialogue.  I believe that when we are given a voice in a safe environment we can change.  Change is healing – change for victims and change for offenders.  Giving things voice, expressing yourself to others, moving past, telling the story.  Identifying what you need to repair the harm.  Do what you need to do to not perpetuate further wrong-doing or harm, to yourself or others.  These are the things when done very carefully and with experienced professionals – that Restorative Justice can bring to domestic violence.

I am so thankful for the local efforts to prevent domestic violence.  I am thankful for the experience and time I spent as a volunteer advocate in a shelter.  I am thankful that a shelter was available for me to spend one night in, 16 years ago.  This morning, reading the blog post of someone I admire, who is staying in an abusive relationship, hurt my heart.  My hope here, in sharing this blog post, is that some awareness around the urgency of the issue of domestic violence will be noted.  My second hope is for people to recognize that trauma needs to be addressed, no one can stop you from healing.  Restorative Justice is one of many avenues to help people heal from the hurts of life.

National Hotline:  http://www.thehotline.org/

WI: http://www.wcadv.org/

River Falls: http://www.turningpoint-wi.org/

From a fortune cookie:

Energy is equal to desire and purpose.

I have a lot of energy and passion for Restorative Justice, my desire for a successful mission and purposeful outcomes is at 110% most days.  My energy doesn’t cover payroll, rent or operating costs.  Just as SCVRJP has limited financial resources.  I have limited energy.  How I engage the energy of others is crucial right now.  From board members, session volunteers, friends and supportors of SCVRJP, this new year, will require us to lean on faith and abandon worry.

Worry doesn’t get much done.  Faith, will help us remember to be thankful for what we have.  Faith will help us make wise choices about our energy and resources.  Faith will draw others in, and worry may very well scare them off.

Restorative Justice asks a lot of people.  Acknowledging the wrong, or sharing how you were impacted takes courage.  The journey to healing, to repairing to growing is not always easy.  Restorative Justice takes faith in humanity.  Restorative Justice takes faith in the good of others.  You still do the work, you still prepare, you challenge your wounds with values.  You nuture life (yours and others) with acknowledging that we all make mistakes we can all be better.  No one can stop you from wanting more from your life.  No one can stop you from making changes that make things better for you and for those around you.

Oh ugh, I am going to have to practice what I blog!  I learned that a good blog includes an ah-ha moment.  Well this is mine, and hopefully yours.  Running a Restorative Justice non-profit takes faith.  The same type of faith needed for Restorative Justice!

• Faith in others – I trust good people will support the program, with time, talents or cash!
• Faith in the future – I trust SCVRJP will be around another 11 years and many more!
• Faith in yourself – I trust I can manage my resources wisely (including reducing my worry)

I plan to do some research on successful Restorative Justice programs – independent nonprofits, programs within institutions and to examine, what common themes are involved in successful programs.  In partnership with my coursework – (PhD in nonprofit administration) I hope to provide a model or structure that brings success to nonprofits providing Restorative Justice.

What do you think?  What agency comes to mind, when I ask you about a successful Restorative Justice Program?

Email:  I attended a class at the Restorative justice center about 4 years ago for underage drinking. I am 23 years old now and have been trying to enlist in the military but my non-wise adolescent decisions are holding me back. I have jumped through many hoops to clear up my name and prove myself for the military. I need proof for my recruiter that I have completed an alcohol class otherwise I will not be able to enlist in the Army National Guard. I do not have any paperwork showing that I successfully completed a class with your program. I realize that it is my fault for not holding on to my documentation and I apologise for the inconvenience sincerely, but I am hoping that someone will be able to get back to me as soon as they can and help me get the proper documentation to accomplish a life goal. I am looking forward to hearing back from someone. This is very important to me. I just need to know how to find the proper paperwork. I am almost always available by phone but email is ok too.

I believe in the good of people, and I saw the responsibility in this email.  Mistakes should not permanently close doors for people.  This young man references a life goal and how important getting into the military is for him.  I know the benefits of the National Guard, I am aware of our military culture and climate right now.  This young man wants to serve his Country and our program has paperwork to help him.  I got to my garage and started to go through the dented file cabinet and the storage boxes.  My only lead was that he thought he attended on November 6, but was unsure of what year.  I found the documentation.

He was so happy, to hear the news.  He knew I was going to a box in my garage, he thought it would take a few weeks, not a few days.  He noted that the day he attended was his 19th birthday.  I told him he made a wise decision to spend his birthday at the Underage Consumption Panel.  He said it was a good class, he thanked me, told me this allows him to enlist. I asked his permission to write a blog post, and asked for more of his story.

He said at the time, he just thought it was a “stupid class” and now because he went he can enlist.  He’s a college student now, he comes from a family of military men, he found out that “screwing off was not working”.  He explained that when you are young, you don’t think your tickets are going to follow you.  He thought by the time you want a career or to go into the military it will just be forgotten.  He had positive things to say about our program, he mentioned seeing on our website that we take volunteers.  That opened the door, and I told him he was especially qualified to come to a Circle and share his perspectives.  I enclosed a volunteer application when I mailed him a copy of his verification.

He told me I made his day.  I told him he made mine.  He came to the class.  He confirms that people find the path, all the work of our volunteers, our staff, the agencies that refer youth to us, the victims who share stories and those that help in order to make amends.  They help SCVRJP live the mission.  You might make a lot of mistakes, but if you do the right thing, it can help you in the future.

From Brene Brown, I learned shame, is the fear of disconnection.  I also learned that the less you talk about it the more you have it.  I love Brene Brown,  here is her TED TALK, “The power of vulernability”, I highly recommend viewing it.  I wrote a blog post and shared her work, earlier this year.

In that context and understanding of shame, I am reading “Wounded Warriors A Time For Healing” by Doyle Arbogast.   From the back cover:

14 personal stories of Native Americans whose pathway to healing has been found
within the beauty and spirituality of their own cultural heritage.  Their lives today reflect responsibility, honor,
and dignity.

I experience life deeply and I have to read these stories
slowly.  The trauma related is real, severe and very directly related to the reader. I get overwhelmed with emotion when the story gets to the ‘watershed
moment’, the decision to pursue healing, sobriety and the embracing of cultural values and spiritual practice.  I believe those individual decisions, those moments of change are miracles.

Similar to the miracles that can happen in Restorative Justice, a moment of deciding that healing is the path.  I blog about this further in the post: The will to live is the will to heal.  We marvel at the miracle a caterpillar makes to a butterfly and we as humans can make those transformations at any time! (Took that from a recent Facebook update).

The third thing that helped me realize that shame is a gift, was a gift in itself.  I’ve been told about a Native American tradition, belief or practice, not exactly sure what you would call it, it is connected to the book above.  Our basic responses, fight, flight, freeze, you read about those responses all the time.  There is a fourth, to friend.  To friend that thing, to reach out your hand, to shake hands, to get to know it, to find out as much as you can, to treat it kindly.  This concept made sense and resonates with me.  The individuals in the stories shared in Wounded Warriors, have gone on to help others as counselors, mentors, educators.   The sharing of their stories, was part of their healing process.  They experienced the feelings to get to healing.   I believe the friend-ing process was part of the feeling.

The gift of shame, is that it points us to what we need to friend.  The gift of shame is that it lets us know
where our disconnection is felt.  Shame lets us know where our healing can be found.

This is a personal and professional intersection.  As Restorative Justice practitioners we can help others and help ourselves with this knowledge.  To help ourselves and others, we need to become comfortable with shame, our own and others. Restorative Justice is about healing.  Healing is fascinating, simple and complex.  Healing is individual and universal.

This monkey just sat on a branch with shame, and neither of us left the same.

I appreciated the side effects of using activities and exercises when training.  The audience is more engaged, the individual perspectives and understanding of the information is reflected by the activities.  The unpredictable-ness feeds my spontaneous style.  I can add a story, or go with explaining concept and it appears in response to the room conversation (vs my deviation from a planned agenda or powerpoint).

This post is a summary of what a group of teacher trainee’s developed in response to the exercise of completing the sentance: Circles are a bridge between ___(blank)___ & ___(blank)___.  Before this exercise, the training group had experienced a circle, heard an introduction on restorative justice and covered the basic facilitation skill-set.  Just a shameless plug – I am happy to provide a training for your district or agency, click here.

Circles are a bridge between . . .

Hurting & Healing

Having a Voice & Being Invisible

Hostility & Harmony

In Individual Heart & Community

A Problem & A Solution

Your Frown & Your Smile

Challenges & Solutions

Fears & Security

Chaos & Harmony

Conflict & Harmony

Conflict & Reconciliation

Whitewater Rapids & Reflection Pool

Peace & Chaos

School & Stewardship (& back, like a Circle)

I have to give this group an A+!

Consider this list an endorsement for the potential Restorative Services outcomes.  How would this list impact your school culture and climate?