One of the Circle activities I use, is to move into the taking action stage, by taking plates out of the Circle Center.
At the beginning of Circle, we write a relationship value on paper plates, we place these on the floor in front of us. We make a committment to honor these values in Circle. If they are good values for our relationships outside of Circle, they are good values for our relationships in Circle.
We do a give and get activity. One person starts by picking a plate and giving it to someone else in Circle. An explanation of how the value was demonstrated and why it was given is part of the activity. Once you get a plate its your turn to give one.
Yesterday I got two plates: LOVE and INTEGRITY. I also got a phone call I was ‘reported’ to a statewide association. Getting the plates and getting the phone call, very different types of feedback, but I am going to accept them both as awesome. Let me try to explain that:
See the plates were direct and to my face, I can really do something with that. The phone call came as a professional courtesy and in a few days I’ll know more about that. For now, I know someone has feedback about me, they just gave it to someone else to give to me. I am assuming that was the intention, but I don’t know.
The plates I was given really touched me. A professional colleauge gave me ‘LOVE’ and expressed how my love for the process of Circle, and being a self-proclaimed Circle Freak, really made things happen. I was given INTEGRITY by a parent, in Circle because of a child’s harmful behavior. The feedback was positive, immediate and it had an impact on me, that reinforced my behavior, attitude and passion for how I do this restorative work.
The phone call, caused me to be defensive. I was hurt to get the call, and realized the messenger was not the issue. I took a deep breath, sighed and offered there is more to the story. The caller and I did not have time to get into the issue. I was impacted by the call, I was hurt to know someone had tried to launch a complaint, or concern without me. I started to mull over what the content of the concern might be. I know I’m not perfect, and the process is not.
How I handle my feedback is under my control. I am going to take whatever concerns are presented to me, be it third party and do better. Just as I am going to take the feedback that I demonstrate LOVE and INTEGRITY and do more.
These experiences have me offering positive, reinforcing feedback and reminding me when I have a complaint or concern to address it directly.